Reflecting on 30

As my birthday approaches, I naturally find myself reflecting on the last year of life. It was a big one. I turned the dreaded 30! Truth be told, I never found thirty to be a big deal for myself personally. I have always felt older than I was and so I finally feel my age is catching up to where I am mentally. What I didn’t expect is what a monumental year it would be for me.

 

What I am discovering in my reflection though is that thirty has been the absolute best year of my life. Not in the obligated “it just keeps getting better” thought process, but in true personal growth.  While thirty was by no means cupcakes and rainbows (in fact it was filled with a lot of struggles), I find myself in a place where I can say without a doubt, I am happier than I have ever been…. even if I have a LOT more gray hair than I started the year with. Seriously though, how is it fair that I am going THIS gray this young. Not fair! 

Thirty was the age where I finally felt in the position to focus on what I wanted for not only myself, but my family. I stopped caring so much about the pressures of what we should do or what others think is best. I took control over MY life.

I decided that while foster care was the best thing to ever happen to us, it wasn’t what defined us as a family. I couldn’t look in the mirror and honestly say I wanted to do this for the rest of my life. I knew that we did great work for that season of life, but that season was coming to an end. We adopted Moose and closed the next day. That was the single greatest highlight of my year. I had my forever family and was able to end foster care on my terms with the love and support of all those who mattered most.

I gained self confidence in the person that I am. I learned to stop fearing judgement from others on my body, my social media addiction love, and the odd things that make me me. Instead I embraced those things. While I still strive to make a balance between health and living life, I learned to love the body I am in now. I learned that while social media can be a great outlet for everyday life, it can also be a platform to spread good and even a small side gig. I realized my husband and kids think I am the coolest person alive and at the end of the day, what more can I want?

I also made steps to cut out all that didn’t fill up my cup. Some of that was “friendships” and some of that was commitments. What I realized is that in cutting these things out, I didn’t miss them one bit. I had been holding on to things that were only taking and in hindsight, it was crazy!

What I want to leave you with is this; if you haven’t experienced a year of your life like this, I pray that you do… and soon! I wish I had found this ownership of life in my 20’s, but that just isn’t how things worked out. If you are someone who is dreading the next decade of life, embrace it. I can only hope that thirty one continues this journey.

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